For many parents, the first signs that a child is developing differently do not arrive with a clear map. They arrive quietly, through questions, worries, comparisons, sleepless nights, and a heavy feeling that something important is happening, but nobody is showing them where to begin.
This is the space where the project “Od kade da počnam” — “Where do I begin?” — was created. Implemented in North Macedonia by Ira Lozana, a parent, educator, mentor, and advocate for families of neurodivergent children, the project was designed to offer parents something many of them say they needed at the very beginning: less judgment, more understanding, and one clear direction.
When a parent does not know where to begin
In many families, the moment of concern around a child’s development is followed by confusion. A parent may notice that their child communicates differently, plays differently, reacts strongly to sounds, touch, food, changes, or social situations. Sometimes there are delays in speech, emotional outbursts, sensory sensitivities, or difficulties in kindergarten or pre-school. Sometimes there is no diagnosis yet, only a feeling that the child is struggling and the parent is alone with too many questions.
In communities where information about autism, ADHD, sensory processing, and other neurodivergences is not always easy to access, parents can quickly become overwhelmed. They may receive mixed advice from relatives, educators, professionals, online groups, and social media. Some are told to just wait. Others are blamed for being too soft, too worried, or too protective. Many are left with the same painful question: “Where do I start?”
This question is not only practical. It is emotional. Behind it is fear for the child’s future, guilt about the past, and a deep need to be seen as a parent who is trying.
A project born from lived experience
The project “Od kade da počnam” was created from both professional and personal experience. As a mother of a neurodivergent child and as someone who works with parents and educators, I know how lonely and overwhelming it can feel when first seeking support for neurodivergent children. I also know that parents do not need another voice telling them what they did wrong. They need a space where they can breathe, understand their child better, and begin from a place of connection.
The goal of the project was to create accessible, parent-friendly content and community-based support for families who are at the beginning of their journey with a neurodivergent child. It aimed to help parents recognize early developmental signs, understand their child’s behavior with more compassion, and find the next step without panic.
The main participants and beneficiaries were parents and caregivers of children with autism, ADHD, developmental differences, and sensory or emotional regulation challenges. Educators and professionals who work with children were also part of the wider audience, because a child’s environment is not limited to the home. It is also the classroom, the playground, the family system, and the community.
From questions to conversations
At the start of the project, we began by listening. Parents were invited to reflect on one simple but powerful question: “What is the one thing about your child’s early development that you wish you knew sooner?”
This question opened the door to honest conversations. It allowed parents to speak not only about symptoms or diagnoses, but about the emotional experience of the beginning: the uncertainty, the self-doubt, the search for information, and the need for support that feels human.
The project included online communication with parents, community research, recorded conversations, educational content, and short videos for social media. The goal was not to overwhelm parents with theory, but to create small, understandable pieces of guidance that they could use in real life.
Topics included early signs of neurodivergence, communication, sensory needs, emotional regulation, parent stress, the importance of acceptance, and the role of community. The project also emphasized that parents are not the only people who need support. They are often the most important support for their child — but they need support themselves in order to be that safe place.
The most meaningful part: Parents recognizing themselves
The most successful part of the project was not only one event or one video. It was the moment when parents recognized their own story in the words being shared.
When a parent hears, “I was there too,” something softens. The nervous system changes. The parent is no longer only receiving information; they are entering a relationship of trust. That is why the project used a personal voice, not only an expert voice.
One of the strongest messages of the project was that the beginning does not have to be perfect. A parent does not need to understand every diagnosis, therapy, method, or professional term in one day. The first step can be much simpler: observe the child with less fear, identify behaviours as a communication strategy, and find one person or one community that does not judge.
The project also created an important shift in language. Instead of asking, “What is wrong with my child?” parents were invited to ask, “What is my child trying to show me?” Instead of asking, “What did I do wrong?” they were invited to ask, “What support do we need now?”
Building a community, not a perfect system
The outcomes of the project are expected to grow over time. Some results can already be seen in the way parents respond to honest, compassionate communication. Other results will become visible gradually: More parents asking for help earlier, more families feeling less isolated, and more educators understanding that behaviour is often a signal of unmet needs, not a sign of a “bad child” or a “bad parent.”
The project is also the beginning of a wider vision. “Od kade da počnam” can continue as an online resource, a parent community, educational videos, workshops, and practical guidance for families and educators. The long-term goal is to create a bridge between parents, children, schools, professionals, and community support.
For me personally, this project confirmed something I have learned both as a mother and as an educator: parents do not need to be rescued. They need to be respected, supported, and reminded of their own strength. Communities do not change only through big systems. They also change when one parent feels less alone, one educator understands one child better, and one family finds the courage to begin again.
“Where do I begin?” is not only a question. It can become an invitation.
Begin with understanding. Begin with acceptance. Begin with love. Begin with one safe step — and then another.
